James Harden – The Legend of the Ugly Beard

The NBA playoffs are in full swing, and like most basketball fans, even though my team (Chicago Bulls) is not in the mix, I’m watching the action unfold on television.

In the Western Conference I like a lot of the players on the Huston Rockets – Chris Paul, Nene, and Trevor Ariza in particular. However, I can’t bring myself to root for the Rockets for one simple reason: James Harden is ugly.

I know, despising a player because he is ugly may sound superficial at first glance, but there is more to it than that.

There are two kinds of ugly: Scottie Pippen ugly and James Harden ugly.

Scottie Pippen can’t help being ugly. He was born that way. He has a face only a mother could love. Yet, he is one of my favorite players of all time. I can’t hold bad physical genetics against someone.

James Harden is another story. James Harden chooses to be ugly. He wears what can only be described as “the ugly beard” – a bird’s nest on his face that extends down to his chest like a hard drinking, seasonal mall Santa Clause.

It is absolutely nasty.

If Harden would just shave his beard, heck – if he would just trim his beard – he would be a decent looking fellow. Yet he wears this atrocity on his face and it disgusts me.

What’s worse is that Harden’s beard seems to be contagious. For some God forsaken reason, other players in the NBA have started to follow his lead. Even the great LeBron James now sports an ugly beard.

You’d think being the best player in the game would mean James wouldn’t need to follow a trend of sheer ugliness. Yet, there King James is with mange growing off his face: an uncontrolled disaster.

One can only hope that this trend that rivals the nastiness of neck tattoos will go away soon.

Until that happens, I can’t root for the Rockets. I simply can’t. James Harden is just too damn ugly.

Peace, Love, Trust.

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